Transgender Day of Remembrance at SQ

Contributed by Billie MIzell

I honored yesterday, Transgender Day of Remembrance, in a Catholic Church inside a state prison. The service was written and designed by women living in a men's penitentiary. In attendance were free people, law enforcement officers, legislators, and incarcerated people of all faiths, races, generations, genders, and orientations.

We convened afterward at a group check-in, at which one of the women was able to share, with her strongest allies, that she had just been granted parole. This news was celebrated joyously! It was celebrated even though we were all well aware that an enormous hole will be left in our group upon her absence. When folks win the Parole Lottery (which takes a tremendous amount of work, but it’s still a crapshoot), they aren’t then gone like our friends in the free world are gone when they move across the Bay or out of state. There are no cell phones or Facebook or Skype allowed in prison, and it’s rare that people who go home are allowed back for visiting, so when one of your people leaves, it’s unlikely you’ll hear their voice or see their face again unless you win the lottery yourself.

Knowing this, I am always deeply humbled by how those who will be left behind flash no jealousy and no selfishness when they hear someone is going home. The celebration erupted as if we had ALL become just a little more free.

As the check-in continued, one of our incarcerated facilitators asked everyone to share with the women what they had received from the day. The answers were stunningly beautiful. One of the men, who has very recently come out as pansexual and now speaks openly of his boyfriend, thanked the women for including him in the closing of the service. The closing was dramatic and especially moving. Everyone at San Quentin, who identifies as LGBTQ+, was invited to participate. The community flowed into the church with the women walking up the center aisle, while the other LGBTQ+ members lined up on the outer aisles, each of them holding signs that read “End Violence” or carried the name of one of the hundreds of transgender people murdered in 2019. Just a few years ago, being 'out' in prison wasn’t a thing; yesterday the seated congregation was fully enveloped by the LGBTQ+ community. I was surprised to see the young man who so recently came out among this very visible group. His beaming smile, shining out from his heavily tattooed face, was a glorious sight to see inside a Catholic church on Trans Remembrance Day! Later, when asked what he had received from the event, after thanking the women for including him, he added softly, “I no longer felt like an outcast.”
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“We have so much freedom to celebrate today!,” one of the other group members exclaimed. “One of us is going home and one has shed his shame and he’s no longer feeling like an outcast! Let freedom ring!”

Perhaps the most unexpectedly refreshing check-ins were from the straight, cis men, who praised the efforts of the women, but were SO careful to avoid anything that might overshadow their hard work or co-opt the lived-experiences of the LGBTQ+ people in the group. These men talked less, listened more. They took every opportunity to say, “This isn’t about me.” When they did talk, they asked questions and created space for others to speak their truth with their own strong and clear voices. They were accountable to their past behaviors from not so very long ago — an act of humility that was cherished by people who have suffered much anti-LGBTQ+ trauma. They practiced “ally” as a verb, not a noun.

It was a day of such inclusion, allyship, selflessness, and JOY! And yet no one forgot what brought us all together—the murders of hundreds of transgender and gender-nonconforming people this year across the world, and the senseless deaths of 24 trans people right here, the land of the free, in 2019 alone. We closed out our day celebrating the extraordinary courage of those exceptional souls who lived their lives out loud and out proud, honestly and authentically, refusing to let their light be dimmed by ignorance and hatred during their time here with us, which was cut far too short.
Dana Martin, 31
Jazzaline Ware, 34
Ashanti Carmon, 27
Claire Legato, 21
Muhlaysia Booker, 23
Michelle 'Tamika' Washington, 40
Paris Cameron, 20
Chynal Lindsey, 26
Chanel Scurlock, 23
Zoe Spears, 23
Brooklyn Lindsey, 32
Denali Berries Stuckey, 29
Tracy Single, 22
Bubba Walker, 55
Kiki Fantroy, 21
Jordan Cofer, 22
Pebbles LaDime “Dime” Doe, 24
Bailey Reeves, 17
Bee Love Slater, 23
Jamagio Jamar Berryman, 30
Itali Marlowe, 29
Brianna “BB” Hill, 30
Johana 'Joa' Medina, 25
Layleen Polanco, 27